Tip of a ballpoint pen highly magnified.
I just feel like everyone should see this
let’s be honest: the real star of the show here is not the ruff but the eyepatch. and i feel like i could present this post entirely without commentary and you guys would still be like, SOLD. AMAZING. and that’s totally legit. but ana de mendoza had such an interesting life i’m going to tell you all about her anyway!
ana, or, in full, doña ana de mendoza y de la cerda, princess of éboli, duchess of pastrana, in her own right princess of mélito, duchess of francavilla, countess of aliano, was a spanish noblewoman who was like ridiculously scandalous and considered ridiculously beautiful by her contemporaries. the story goes that she lost the eye when she was just a kid fencing with a pageboy, which really begs the question of what happened to that poor page, you know? can’t imagine that’s a great line to have on your CV. took out my boss’s daughter’s eye. [more prosaically, she also may have had both of her eyes but covered up the one to correct or hide the fact that they were misaligned.] her family was very rich and influential and married her at the age of 12 to the prince of éboli, then in his mid-30s, which made her even more rich and influential. he was one of the king’s most trusted advisors during the first few decades of philip ii’s reign, but eventually her husband died, after they had 6 surviving kids together.
so after her first husband’s death ana fell in with the bloke who served as secretary to philip ii, antonio pérez, and had replaced ana’s first husband as one of his closest advisers. [sidebar: people who know only the anglocentric narrative of the 16th century tend to forget that philip ii had a long and storied career in spain where, you know, he was king in his own right, and didn’t just play a bit role in the sad and sordid drama that was the end of mary tudor’s life??] ana was a favourite of philip’s third wife, elisabeth of valois, and was apparently a favourite of philip’s; some say she was his mistress, and/or that he was obsessed with her, which lead to her downfall, but i leave that one to the winds of time. anyway, ana and pérez led one particular faction of the court that wielded influence over philip ii [and profited from it]; whether they were lovers, i also leave in the air.
pérez played on the unstable relationship with philip ii’s half-brother don juan of austria, who was then the governor of the low countries [the netherlands] on philip’s behalf. pérez convinced philip ii that juan de escobedo, don juan’s secretary, was encouraging don juan to agitate for power… though he was probably more concerned about what escobedo was saying about ana and pérez and their dubious schemes. apparently [so said pérez ] philip ii agreed that pérez could kill escobedo. which he did, BADLY; having tried to poison him a couple times, and failing, he eventually hired assassins to cut the dude down in the street. but philip kind of came to his senses within the year and had pérez arrested, and ana was put under house arrest as accomplice to his schemes.
pérez managed to weasel out of serious punishment, but ana was further punished, and stripped of everything she owned, and kept imprisoned without trial for the rest of her life, where she died more than a decade later. there are those who say that her romantic refusal of philip is why he was so severe on her, but it’s also possible that she pissed him off with sheer pride. says the feminist encyclopedia of spanish literature about her: “she seems to have possessed a strong personality, making her more willing to fight than to surrender… many accused her of being arrogant, domineering, and willful”. she was definitely fierce and independent and it’s easy to see why popular imagination has so consistently fixated on her. she’s been portrayed on film quite a few times, most recently in la conjura de el escorial and la princesa de éboli, if you want to check those out.
or you can just stare at her portraits admiringly, like i do.
Ballet brain — TEDxAmsterdam + the Dutch National Ballet visualize the human brain through dance in this beautiful performance from the Dutch event. Watch the whole performance here»
Mary Poppins - Original illustration artwork
How to wear a knife strapped to your thigh with a garter like a fucking lady while managing not to slice yourself open because you were fool enough to carry an unsheathed weapon next to a squishy part of your body that moves when you walk.
- Get a garter from somewhere; this one is a sock garter from Sock Dreams, which means it’s made to stay the fuck up there.
- Get a fucking sheath for those sharp, pointy things and put them in the sheath. There’ll be a velcro loop at the top so that they won’t slide out if you hold the sheath upside down.
- Put the garter through the loop at the top meant for whatever you’re using to attach it to yourself. Attach it to yourself, adjusting for ease of grabbing. You don’t want to put it on your inner thigh because that is awkward as hell to get out. The only way you’d be able to get it out in a timely manner is if you attached the sheath upside down, at which point you’d need two garters to keep the sheath from tilting inward toward your other thigh.
- Oh no, now the sheath is hanging loosely and is going to make a weird pattern against your clothing. Tuck that shit into your stockings if you’re wearing them, or use another garter if you’re not.
- Pull your pencil skirt back down over the knife sheath. Adjust accordingly due to tightness of skirt and shape of sheath. Make sure you can get at it as quick as you want.
- People look at you really strangely if this is the knife you pull out when you want to cut your apple up.
Vital Information for your Everyday Life.
Well, the problem is, Gabrielle, I never feel anything. I mean, bits and pieces here and there, but nothing solid.
Hellboy through the Ages.
The first drawing of Hellboy,
classic B.P.R.D. Years Hellboy,
and finally Hellboy in Hell.
All art by Mike Mignola
I had two choices tonight. Do homework or draw Suzie and Jon sitting on a giant pink dildo. I think I made a pretty good decision.
THIS IS AMAZING
- People who can't draw: Drawing is fucking hard
- People who don't try at all: Drawing is fucking hard
- Teachers: Drawing is fucking hard
- Beginning artists: Drawing is fucking hard
- Pro artists: Drawing is fucking hard
- Famous artists: Drawing is fucking hard
- Extremely famous artists: Drawing is fucking hard
- Long gone, passed away artists who went down in history: Drawing is fucking hard
- People who are upset an artist won't draw for them for free: Drawing is easy!